No matter what stage of the relationship you are in, it’s always a good time to learn more about your partner. Sometimes important topics will naturally arise in conversation, but other times, it’s necessary to ask your partner specific questions so that you can learn more about them. Here are questions to ask your partner at different stages of the relationship so that you can deepen your connection to one another.
At the beginning of a relationship, it’s important to get to know your partner. Asking things about their childhood and their general preferences or habits can give you a good idea of who they are as a person.
Here are some questions to ask a new partner
1. What’s your favorite nickname?
Asking about a nickname will not only give you ideas about what to call your new partner, but it will also likely elicit a story about the loved one that coined the name.
2. Describe your family dynamic.
Understanding your new partner’s family dynamic, or at least where they fall in the birth order of their siblings will give you insight into who they are.
3. What’s your weirdest habit or quirk?
Might as well know what to prepare yourself for! Asking about a weird habit or quirk before it comes up will save you the surprise of discovering it on your own.
4. What were you like in high school?
While not all high school stereotypes are true, understanding what your partner was like in high school can give you a general idea of what they were like when they were younger.
5. What is your love language?
Love languages are super important to understand when you are starting a new relationship. Asking your partner about their preferred ways to give and receive love will help you support them in the relationship moving forward.
Gifts, touch, quality time, oh my! Learn more about the 5 Love Languages and discover new ways to connect with your partner on a deeper level.
6. What is your conflict style?
It’s important to understand your new partner’s conflict style so that when conflicts do eventually arise, you are able to navigate them effectively.
7. What’s your astrological sign?
Though not everyone believes in astrology, it can be helpful to know your partner’s star chart so that you can compare compatibility and get a general sense of their personality.
8. What’s your greatest talent?
Let your new partner brag about themselves! Asking them about their greatest talent will give you insight into something that they are proud of.
9. What’s your biggest weakness?
While it’s great to hype your partner up, it’s also important to understand what their flaws are. Asking this question will not only encourage them to reflect a little, but it will also give you a heads up about their flaws.
10. What are your expectations for the relationship?
In addition to light hearted questions, it’s good to establish expectations for the relationship early on. This often won’t come up out of the blue, so it can be important to directly ask your partner this question so that you are on the same page about things moving forward.
11. Why did your last relationship end?
In a mature relationship, you and your partner should be able to talk about your past partners and relationships. Understanding why their last relationship ended can show you what the deal breakers are for your partner.
12. How would you describe your spending habits?
Financial disagreements are often the source of relationship problems. Understanding your new partner’s spending habits from the beginning will help you make sure you’re on the same page, or it will at least give you insight into your different spending habits. In the short term it’s also good to know to help you better understand who’s getting the bill.
13. Are you a competitive person?
Many people have somewhat hidden competitive streaks that come out in full force during certain activities. Knowing if your partner is competitive, or having them admit that they are competitive can prepare you when the streak comes out.
14. Have you ever cheated on a past partner?
This might seem like a serious question to ask at the beginning of a relationship, and while it is serious, it’s ultimately really important to know what your new partner thinks about fidelity and cheating. If they have cheated in the past, this can give them an opportunity to explain the situation and promise that it’s not going to happen again…
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After getting to know your partner in the early stages of the relationship, it’s important to keep learning about each other. Here are some light hearted and random conversation starters that you can refer to if you’re ever at a loss for what to talk about. Even though these questions are silly and fun, they will give you some insight into your partner:
15. What are ten things you would bring to a desert island?
This is a great icebreaker question! Hearing your partner reason through this question will give you insight into how they think and it will likely spark an interesting conversation.